[ 2006-06-16 08:31 ]
An aerial photographer hired me to fly him to a neighboring community to take pictures of a woman's farm. I assumed he knew the location and we began our flight.
Once we got near,聽I asked him for specific directions. The photographer replied, "the woman said it was easy to find. Just follow the highway west, and the name is on the mailbox."
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(2006-06-15)
Teacher: Walter, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.
Walter: What was it?
Teacher: Eggs.
Walter: Wrong, sir. That was yesterday.聽
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(2006-06-14)
manager: sorry, but I can't give you a job. I don't need much help.
job applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just聽the right person 聽in this case.You see, 聽I聽won't 聽be of much use anyway.
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A: When do people talk least?
B: In February.
A: Why?
B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
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"Mom,聽 the teacher was asking 聽me today if I have any brothes or sisters who will be coming to school".
"That's nice of her to take such an interest, what did she say when you told her you are the only child?"
"She just said,'thank goodness'"
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聽
Policeman: why didn't you shout for help when you were robbled of you watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd 聽have found my four gold teeth, that would be much worse.
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There was a woman who told her hunband,"Last night I dreamed you bought me a mink coat and a diamond ring."
Her husband put down his newspaper聽and said,"Fine, tonight you go back to sleep and wear them."
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[ 2006-06-07 08:33 ]
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
"Cloth or leather錒? asked the salesperson.
"Makes no difference. "replied customer.
銆銆
"What color?" asked the clerk.
"Any." he responded.
銆銆
"Size?"
"Give me whatever you prefer," the gentleman said slightly exasperated. "My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them."
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[ 2006-06-06 07:49 ]
Teacher: When was Rome built?
Tom: At night.
Teacher: Who told you that?
Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn't built in a day.
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[ 2006-06-05 08:00 ]
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."
At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"
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The guest seated聽 next to the speaker said:"Your wife must love you very much. I see her send you a 'kiss' before you begin聽your speech."聽
The speaker smiled and explained:"You don't know my wife. The 'kiss' she gives me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid'".
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Student:聽 Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
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